We're facebook friends in real life
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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