I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
we're chasing vodka with high fives
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
