All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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