Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
