Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
