While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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