So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
