this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
