swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
