you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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