eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
