i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
