My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
