I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
