Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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