we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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