how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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