I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
