I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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