I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
