i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I want you more than these girls want KFC
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
