so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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