strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
