I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
