Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
