if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize