I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
