...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
