I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yo dont text me then not text me
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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