It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
