my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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