did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
