Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
