Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
