I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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