Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
