Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
