Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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