What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I need to align my fucking chakras
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
