The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize