google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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