I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
