So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
