My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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