I wish life had little blips of pornography
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
