btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
