More tranny stories later!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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