maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize