Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
