Do you still have your period?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
