i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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