I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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