If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
