Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
