i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
