My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
