Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
