so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
