How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
