The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
