something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I party with great urgency now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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