Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize