we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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